THE BUFFALO THEORY

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the ...Read More

BEER LOGIC

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there pal?" "It’s a mongoose." "W...Read More

TWO WISHES

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," The ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This became a routine until late o...Read More

IT DOESN’T ADD UP

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none ...Read More

DRINKING VOCABULARY CHALLENGE

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk... a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that...Read More

THE SINGING BULLFROG

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agr...Read More

Aliens are Sneaky

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him...Read More

Gimme a Little Head

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a tiny head about the size of an orange. He asks the bartender what...Read More

Bar Food

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $5.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, ...Read More

Missing Cigar

A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him "Why is the front of your shirt all bloody" His customer answers in a slurred voice "My wife caught me with another woman and cut off my penis." "Oh come on" replies the bartender. The customer then says "If you don't believe me, I'll show you." He ...Read More