I gave him super glue instead

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, 'where's Mom and dad?' and she replied, 'they're up in bed ' so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma 'where's Mom and dad?'...Read More

Similarity between Cassette & Girl

Q: What is the similarity between Cassette & Girl? A: You can use them on either side. Q: What is the similarity between Girls and Aeroplane? A: Both have Cockpits. Q: What is si...Read More

look at what he did to my tits

A married man had a sweet young secretary and decided to take her to dinner. He called his wife to tell her that he had to "work late" and she said, "no problem." After dinner they went back to her apartment and had mad sex for hours. On the way ...Read More

Wanna switch partners?

One day, a man met a Martian space alien. They got to be good friends, so the man asked the Martian, how they had sex on his planet. "Well," said the Martian, "Pretty much the same way you guys do." "OK," said the man, "Wanna switch partners?" "OK," said the Martian. So they did. The man's wife started to undress, and when she was done, she turned around and saw that the Martian was...Read More

I can get the doorknob out of my ass

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!" He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and rav...Read More

Daddy would like to type a letter

Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4 and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code. One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie (his daughter), "Tell your mother I would really like to type a letter." Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie, "Daddy would like to...Read More

Loaded Questions

Loaded Questions 1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long,has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? 4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? 5). Name five words that...Read More

Buy yourself a razor!

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. He then calls the girl and gives her $20 and says "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not good to walk around without any panties on." The girl then ...Read More

I've already got the holes for that

A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! "What was that?" she asks. "Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter, "it's just someone getting a ho...Read More

The old lady fainted.

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, 'I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.' Joe thinking that she w...Read More