Mr Joe B. Carvalho movie Poster

Rating: 0.5/5 stars (Half stars)

Star cast: Arshad Warsi, Jaaved Jaaferi, Soha Ali Khan, Geeta Basra, Karishma Kotak, Vijay Raaz, Ranjeet, Himani Shivpuri, Manoj Joshi, Snehal Dhabi, Virendra Saxena, Babul Supriyo, Rajesh Balwani, Shakti Kapoor

Director: Samir Tewari

What’s Good: Nothing

What’s Bad: The Acting, the Direction and mostly the ridiculous dialogues.

Loo Break: Hell YES.

Watch or Not?: 2014 couldn’t have seen a worse beginning than Samir Tewari’s disastrous comedy film. It is irritatingly silly and in my dictionary ‘foolish’ is not funny. There is a callous dearth of intelligence in the film and it definitely qualifies as a must never watch venture.

User Rating:

The film is based on the life of detective Mr Joe B. Carvalho who aims to be like his father who was quite a Holmes of his times.

Lady Luck hasn’t been on the side of Joe much as his career has gone down more than it has soared. However, when a rich man gives Joe the task of finding his daughter who has eloped with an elderly cook, Joe gets motivated to do a great job. Meanwhile, Lady Inspector Shantipriya mistakes Joe for the dreaded Henchman Carlos and therein begins an un-merry tussle which climaxes into an unexpected end.

Soha Ali Khan and Arshad Warsi in a still from Mr Joe B. Carvalho

I wish I could conclude by saying What Script? But that would be unacceptable to my editor. Samir Tewari attempted to make a comedy of errors and his effort is so utterly juvenile that you’ll be left dumb founded. So right, for story line we have a useless detective with a visually impaired mother. For laughs the director tosses up insensitive scenes of his mother falling off places and take my word, a good chunk of audiences will laugh at the design. To laugh at a physically challenged person really must be a ball, ain’t it?

For sex appeal we have a lady Dabangg who is only good in one scene, where she is introduced. Post that Soha Ali Khan is reduced to a side kick and she willingly settles for the same.

And if you have been missing Harry Potter, there is a variation of Voldermort in Carlos, a man who is so dreaded that his name kills! Quite literally so, we are told.

The film is so desperate to make you laugh that it is annoying and the story line is so childish that I am confident even school plays turn out to be better than this. Mr Joe B Carvalho will simply force feed funny down your throat, even if you resist to the hilt. And to conclude my script analysis, I will repeat – What Story?

Arshad Warsi shows no improvisation since his last stint. And I simply hope the bad memories of this film doesn’t get me biased against him in Dedh Ishqiya next week. The actor is wasted and ends up in a caricature role which is highly unsuitable for someone of his caliber.

Soha Ali Khan tries too hard to be sexy and yes she is a bombshell but do we rate actresses on the scale of how great they look? Where the hell is acting?

Jaaved Jaaferi attempts to show some promise but with such a doomed role there wasn’t much to save here.

The other actors couldn’t even get themselves noticed and hence are not worth a mention.

Samir Tewari begins his career on the wrong foot for sure. To dig out hilarity from the tediously running joke on the pun to the title is plain callow-ish. It was a torment to sit through the film with all the miscasting and the jokes which stink. The dialogues were bigger disasters, ‘Pyaar is like underwear jiska elastic kabhi na kabhi dheela hoga hi’ and ‘ Maut, Potty or Carlos kahin bhi aa saktey hai’. I can’t fathom how low the intellect of the film’s writers had stooped to come up with something as atrocious as this. The music was even more dismal and editing was lame.

If bad films could kill, this review would have reached out from beyond the graves to you. I haven’t had such a terrible time at the movies in a while. The horrible mishmash of ridiculous dialogues, inane script and naive acting couldn’t take this film anywhere. I am going with a 0.5/5 for the film and request you to refrain from watching it even when premiered on television. The term funny needs a new connotation because lame is NOT the synonym for it.

Mr Joe B. Carvalho releases on 3rd January, 2014.

Share with us your experience of watching Mr Joe B. Carvalho .

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Movie Mr Joe B. Carvalho
Reviewed by Mohar Basu
on 03-01-2014
and Rated 0.5/5

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